My Nervous Breakdown of the Fitness Kind

It was bound to happen.  I completely melted down this week.  Five months of a plateau has finally gotten to me.  As I stated in my weekly training thread, the scale was a bitch this week.  Not only was my weight up, but my body fat percentage was up, too.  My diet was virtually the same.  My thyroid checked out okay at the doctor's office.  The Reds left town the week before, so that's no reason for the increase.  I've been eating at home, basically the same menu as the last few weeks.  I.WAS.PISSED.

But on the positive side, I look fabulous.  My skin continues to firm up, my muscle definition is great, people are continuing to comment on positive changes they see.  The scale is the most cruel bitch of all.  I know it doesn't really matter, it's just a number.  It's all about being healthy, getting off meds, feeling good.  But on Wednesday when I was standing on that scale all of that didn't matter.   D.tox was an epic waste, I wanted to quit training and Pilates, I wanted to quit period.

Then I thought about how fabulous my butt and legs look.  My arms are making good progress.  My abs are going to be phenomenal.  My skin looks spectacular.

And then I thought about all the haters and some of you haters are reading this right now.  You know who you are.  I'm doing what you couldn't and can't do.  I'm doing what you don't think I can do.  I'm tenacious, I'm strategic, I'm patient, I'm determined.    And it kills you.  But thanks for pushing me to do better and pushing forward.  I'm actually glad you're around.

So, I'm still climbing out of the pit and regaining my momentum.  My mood about this is still a little manic.  Sad, disappointed, hopefully, lonely, persistent, inspired.  I'm going to be meeting with Sarah and Cassie this week and we're going to tweak things a bit and see what will work.

I'm inspired by the story of Justin Willoughby who lost 550 pounds and it took him a decade to do it.  A DECADE.  That's dedication.  Holy crap!  I guess I shouldn't be bitching about 13 months, right?

Well, that's all for now, but I leave you with the Motivational Penguin.